很多父母會對孩子不聽話感到很頭疼，不聽話真的一定就是壞事嗎？

Dear Mom,

親愛的媽咪，

The big question appalled and surprised parents often ask their child after a confrontational orrevelatory moment is, "Where did you get this attitude from?" I know you hate to admit it, but I get much of my determined and strong-willed nature from you.

經過一陣對抗和宣泄之后，震驚的父母通常會問：“你的這種態度是哪里來的?”我知道你不樂意承認這些，但我這堅持不懈的性格，大多都是從你那里學來的。

Mom, I know it’s hard dealing with the teenage angst and the ever-changing moods that come with raising a child. But you should also marvel at the fact that I’ve made it this far, that I’m healthy and happy.

媽媽，我知道對為青春期的孩子擔憂的感受不好受，也知道你的心情因為養育孩子而跌宕起伏。但你也應該驚嘆于我已經成長到了這一步，而我現在健康又快樂。

When I was small, I would attend barbecues and family events and wander away from my parents. It wouldn’t be long before someone would stop me to ask whether I was my mother’s daughter.

小時候，我會在燒烤派對和家庭活動中離開父母自己到處跑。不久，總會有人攔住我問我是不是我母親的女兒。

"Your mom is Melissa," they’d say, a warm smile on their faces. "Is that right?" I would nod, I assume, parents feel when their child talks back or defies them, I was appalled at this statement. To me, I acted nothing like you, Mom.

“你媽媽是梅麗莎，”他們會帶著溫暖的微笑問，“對吧?”我會點頭，我想，當孩子頂撞父母的時候，父母在感情上肯定很受傷吧，我當時被這個想法震驚到了。在我看來，我和你一點都不像啊，媽媽。

No one says, "I know you’re Melissa’s daughter because of your eyes and nose" it’s the charactertraits that seal the deal. Dry wit, intelligence, and yes, maybe a little bit of attitude—these are the things I am grateful I have received from you. There’s nothing wrong with having attitude.

沒有人會說：“我知道你是梅利莎的女兒，是因為你的眼睛和鼻子和你媽媽很像”其實，性格特點的相似才是背后的原因。我很高興我從你那遺傳了我的機智、聰明，可能還有一點倔勁兒。這樣的性格沒有什么不對的。

。

Like for most black individuals, attitude is what defines you and me, and it’s what keeps us from being mentally oppressed and defeated. Attitude is a non-violent form of protection and confrontation -- where would we be in the world without this tool? Surely not where we are.

像對大多數黑人一樣，這倔勁兒是我們的標志，它使我們免于在精神上受到壓迫和擊敗。態度是一種非暴力的自保與對抗，如果沒有這個工具，我們的生活將是怎樣?肯定沒有現在這么好。

Mom, when people ask me where I get my attitude from, I tell them: you. And when they ask me where I got my drive, my work ethic, my good hair, and my sense of humor, I say you as well. I will always say this.

媽媽，當人們問我這倔勁兒是從哪來的，我會告訴他們，是從你那來的。當他們問我在哪里獲得動力、職業道德、我的好發質和幽默感，我也會說是你。我會永遠這樣說。

When I’m asked why I am the way I am -- why I refuse to allow others to hurt me with their words or actions, why I think and speak about things openly and without fear—I’ll tell them it's because of you.

當別人問起我為什么會這樣處事——我為什么不許別人用言語或者言行傷害我，為什么我可以毫無恐懼的坦然的說出我所想的事——我會告訴他們，是因為你。

I’ll complain to you about the arguments between us that leave me wondering about how God made us so much alike that we hardly even noticed.

我要跟你談談我們的那些沖突，它們讓我很好奇上帝是如何使我們如此相像，以至于我們幾乎沒有注意到。

But I’ll tell them about you.

但我會跟別人說，我的優點都來自你。

Love,

愛你的

Malahni

馬拉尼

你怎么看待不聽話的孩子呢？

很多父母會對孩子不聽話感到很頭疼，不聽話真的一定就是壞事嗎？

Dear Mom,

親愛的媽咪，

The big question appalled and surprised parents often ask their child after a confrontational orrevelatory moment is, "Where did you get this attitude from?" I know you hate to admit it, but I get much of my determined and strong-willed nature from you.

經過一陣對抗和宣泄之后，震驚的父母通常會問：“你的這種態度是哪里來的?”我知道你不樂意承認這些，但我這堅持不懈的性格，大多都是從你那里學來的。

Mom, I know it’s hard dealing with the teenage angst and the ever-changing moods that come with raising a child. But you should also marvel at the fact that I’ve made it this far, that I’m healthy and happy.

媽媽，我知道對為青春期的孩子擔憂的感受不好受，也知道你的心情因為養育孩子而跌宕起伏。但你也應該驚嘆于我已經成長到了這一步，而我現在健康又快樂。

When I was small, I would attend barbecues and family events and wander away from my parents. It wouldn’t be long before someone would stop me to ask whether I was my mother’s daughter.

小時候，我會在燒烤派對和家庭活動中離開父母自己到處跑。不久，總會有人攔住我問我是不是我母親的女兒。

"Your mom is Melissa," they’d say, a warm smile on their faces. "Is that right?" I would nod, I assume, parents feel when their child talks back or defies them, I was appalled at this statement. To me, I acted nothing like you, Mom.

“你媽媽是梅麗莎，”他們會帶著溫暖的微笑問，“對吧?”我會點頭，我想，當孩子頂撞父母的時候，父母在感情上肯定很受傷吧，我當時被這個想法震驚到了。在我看來，我和你一點都不像啊，媽媽。

No one says, "I know you’re Melissa’s daughter because of your eyes and nose" it’s the charactertraits that seal the deal. Dry wit, intelligence, and yes, maybe a little bit of attitude—these are the things I am grateful I have received from you. There’s nothing wrong with having attitude.

沒有人會說：“我知道你是梅利莎的女兒，是因為你的眼睛和鼻子和你媽媽很像”其實，性格特點的相似才是背后的原因。我很高興我從你那遺傳了我的機智、聰明，可能還有一點倔勁兒。這樣的性格沒有什么不對的。

。

Like for most black individuals, attitude is what defines you and me, and it’s what keeps us from being mentally oppressed and defeated. Attitude is a non-violent form of protection and confrontation -- where would we be in the world without this tool? Surely not where we are.

像對大多數黑人一樣，這倔勁兒是我們的標志，它使我們免于在精神上受到壓迫和擊敗。態度是一種非暴力的自保與對抗，如果沒有這個工具，我們的生活將是怎樣?肯定沒有現在這么好。

Mom, when people ask me where I get my attitude from, I tell them: you. And when they ask me where I got my drive, my work ethic, my good hair, and my sense of humor, I say you as well. I will always say this.

媽媽，當人們問我這倔勁兒是從哪來的，我會告訴他們，是從你那來的。當他們問我在哪里獲得動力、職業道德、我的好發質和幽默感，我也會說是你。我會永遠這樣說。

When I’m asked why I am the way I am -- why I refuse to allow others to hurt me with their words or actions, why I think and speak about things openly and without fear—I’ll tell them it's because of you.

當別人問起我為什么會這樣處事——我為什么不許別人用言語或者言行傷害我，為什么我可以毫無恐懼的坦然的說出我所想的事——我會告訴他們，是因為你。

I’ll complain to you about the arguments between us that leave me wondering about how God made us so much alike that we hardly even noticed.

我要跟你談談我們的那些沖突，它們讓我很好奇上帝是如何使我們如此相像，以至于我們幾乎沒有注意到。

But I’ll tell them about you.

但我會跟別人說，我的優點都來自你。

Love,

愛你的

Malahni

馬拉尼

你怎么看待不聽話的孩子呢？