你的幾個(gè)同學(xué)因食用了從某超市買(mǎi)回的食品而中毒，幸虧及時(shí)治療而脫險(xiǎn)。請(qǐng)描述他中毒與脫險(xiǎn)的過(guò)程，并呼吁要加強(qiáng)食品安全。

　　A Food Poisoning Accident

　　行文思路

　　本題屬于情景式命題。提綱要求描述一件事情的經(jīng)過(guò)，由此可判斷本文應(yīng)為記敘文。

　　根據(jù)所給提綱，本文應(yīng)包含如下內(nèi)容：交待食物中毒的背景和原因;敘述中毒的和脫險(xiǎn)的經(jīng)過(guò);談?wù)動(dòng)纱艘l(fā)的感想，呼吁加強(qiáng)食品安全。

　　高分范文

　　A Food Poisoning Accident

　　Last month, I witnessed a food poisoning accident happening to my classmates. At that time the situation was really very dangerous and urgent. Though finally they got out of danger, this accident is still vivid in my mind.

　　That day was Julies birthday, one of my classmates. In order to celebrate it, her roommates bought a big birthday cake for her from a supermarket nearby. They shared the cake happily. However, after a while, all of them felt abdominal pain, nausea and dizziness. Two of them even cannot stand up because of great pain. We rushed to send them to the hospital. It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period. Futunately, due to timely treatment, they all recovered very soon.

　　However, this accident leaves me a deep ponder. I think it is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety. Firstly, the government should strengthen supervision and administration on food safety. More importantly, to those who immoral businessmen, more strict punishment should be given. Besides, we consumers should be more careful in buying food. Only in this way can we make sure that no same accident happens.

　　【亮點(diǎn)點(diǎn)評(píng)】

　　目睹，目擊。

　　發(fā)生在某人身上，現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)作定語(yǔ)。

　　仍然令我記憶猶新。

　　過(guò)渡銜接詞語(yǔ)，使文章條理清晰、銜接緊密。

　　聞?dòng)嵹s來(lái)。

　　結(jié)果是，原來(lái)是。

由于及時(shí)的治療。

　　留給我深深的思考。

　　加強(qiáng)監(jiān)管。

　　only+狀語(yǔ)位于句首，引起句子部分倒裝。

　　佳句臨摩

　　1.佳句：Though finally they got out of danger, this accident is still vivid in my mind.

　　臨摩：盡管這件事情已經(jīng)過(guò)去了很多，但它仍然讓我記憶猶新。

　　2.佳句：It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period.

　　臨摩：結(jié)果他沒(méi)能在紅燈前通過(guò)那個(gè)路口，而和另外一輛車(chē)撞在了一起。

　　3.佳句：It is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety.

　　臨摩：現(xiàn)在的當(dāng)務(wù)之急是幫助大學(xué)生樹(shù)立一個(gè)正確的就業(yè)觀。

　　【KEY】

　　1. Though this incident happened a long time ago, it is still vivid in my mind.

　　2. It turned out that his car could not pass through the crossroad before the light turned red and crashed into another car.

　　3. It is very urgent to help college students form a right idea on employment.

　　你的幾個(gè)同學(xué)因食用了從某超市買(mǎi)回的食品而中毒，幸虧及時(shí)治療而脫險(xiǎn)。請(qǐng)描述他中毒與脫險(xiǎn)的過(guò)程，并呼吁要加強(qiáng)食品安全。

　　A Food Poisoning Accident

　　行文思路

　　本題屬于情景式命題。提綱要求描述一件事情的經(jīng)過(guò)，由此可判斷本文應(yīng)為記敘文。

　　根據(jù)所給提綱，本文應(yīng)包含如下內(nèi)容：交待食物中毒的背景和原因;敘述中毒的和脫險(xiǎn)的經(jīng)過(guò);談?wù)動(dòng)纱艘l(fā)的感想，呼吁加強(qiáng)食品安全。

　　高分范文

　　A Food Poisoning Accident

　　Last month, I witnessed a food poisoning accident happening to my classmates. At that time the situation was really very dangerous and urgent. Though finally they got out of danger, this accident is still vivid in my mind.

　　That day was Julies birthday, one of my classmates. In order to celebrate it, her roommates bought a big birthday cake for her from a supermarket nearby. They shared the cake happily. However, after a while, all of them felt abdominal pain, nausea and dizziness. Two of them even cannot stand up because of great pain. We rushed to send them to the hospital. It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period. Futunately, due to timely treatment, they all recovered very soon.

　　However, this accident leaves me a deep ponder. I think it is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety. Firstly, the government should strengthen supervision and administration on food safety. More importantly, to those who immoral businessmen, more strict punishment should be given. Besides, we consumers should be more careful in buying food. Only in this way can we make sure that no same accident happens.

　　【亮點(diǎn)點(diǎn)評(píng)】

　　目睹，目擊。

　　發(fā)生在某人身上，現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)作定語(yǔ)。

　　仍然令我記憶猶新。

　　過(guò)渡銜接詞語(yǔ)，使文章條理清晰、銜接緊密。

　　聞?dòng)嵹s來(lái)。

　　結(jié)果是，原來(lái)是。

由于及時(shí)的治療。

　　留給我深深的思考。

　　加強(qiáng)監(jiān)管。

　　only+狀語(yǔ)位于句首，引起句子部分倒裝。

　　佳句臨摩

　　1.佳句：Though finally they got out of danger, this accident is still vivid in my mind.

　　臨摩：盡管這件事情已經(jīng)過(guò)去了很多，但它仍然讓我記憶猶新。

　　2.佳句：It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period.

　　臨摩：結(jié)果他沒(méi)能在紅燈前通過(guò)那個(gè)路口，而和另外一輛車(chē)撞在了一起。

　　3.佳句：It is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety.

　　臨摩：現(xiàn)在的當(dāng)務(wù)之急是幫助大學(xué)生樹(shù)立一個(gè)正確的就業(yè)觀。

　　【KEY】

　　1. Though this incident happened a long time ago, it is still vivid in my mind.

　　2. It turned out that his car could not pass through the crossroad before the light turned red and crashed into another car.

　　3. It is very urgent to help college students form a right idea on employment.